


Jump

by Sandwiches_and_fandomology



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hoth, Hugs, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 22:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17150375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandwiches_and_fandomology/pseuds/Sandwiches_and_fandomology
Summary: 55 days after the Battle of Crait, Rey feels more alone than ever. As Rey has had time to think, she has realized that she made the wrong decision when deciding to go back to the resistance. Finally, after 55 days, Rey lets Ben back in.





	Jump

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Jump (Acoustic) by Julia Michaels.
> 
> This is my first fic, so I hope you all enjoy.

Rey lays on her too soft mattress in the new resistance base: Hoth. Well, technically it wasn’t new, but it was new to her, and to everyone except for Leia and Chewie. This base had once been that of the Rebel Alliance. They had been forced out many years before by the Empire. After the attack on Crait, Leia had led them here, stating that the First Order would most likely not think to look on Hoth for them since the Alliance base was assumed to have been destroyed.

Rey turns on her side, looking at the cement wall of her room. They had been here for two months now, laying low and only trying to recruit individuals who were within the same system as them. She begins to count the small divots in the wall. She had never had her own room before, along with that, she had never slept on a real mattress either. Even after counting over 200 divots in the walls of her quarters, sleep still did not take her. She found herself defeated for the 55th night in a row by a mattress that was too soft.

Rey sits up with a huff and throws her blankets off. Placing her feet on the floor, the cold of the planet seeps under her skin. She shivers as she stands, now only wearing her tan tank top and leggings. She has found that since she left Jakku, they only work for sleeping in since they aren’t thick enough for when she is working around the base. She stands and sticks her arms under her bed, removing the make-shift bed that she has been using since they had gotten to Hoth. It is a thick wool blanket, topped with two other blankets to keep her warm. She slides the set-up across the floor and to the center of the room. She snags her other blankets from the bed and adds them to the top of the set-up before sliding under the blankets, feeling warmth return to her after a few moments. The only reason she has a blanket between herself and the floor is to stop the cold from penetrating into her back.

She looks up to the ceiling for a moment before closing her eyes allowing her mind to drift. As it has done for the last 55 days, her mind automatically drifts to Ben. For the first time since Crait, she allows her thoughts to stay on him. She thinks back to that day, the fight, how they fought alongside one another. How they had won. She thinks back to his offer, and her turning him down. If she had accepted his offer, what would have been the fate of the Resistance? If she had accepted, maybe the First Order would not have attacked the Resistance on Crait, maybe many lives would have been saved. One of those lives being Ben Solo’s.

She turns, looking toward the door of her quarters. Everyone has treated her differently since they had seen her abilities within the force, even though they were nothing in comparison to what Ben could do. Everyone had been distant, even Finn. Ever since Rose had come into the picture, he has been busy taking care of her. The only people that treated her the same as before were Leia, Chewie, and Poe. Even then, she barely saw them, they too busy working behind closed doors to make time for her. Since they had gotten to Hoth, she had felt alone, so alone.

_You are not alone_

_Neither are you_

“No” she says aloud, pushing the thought from his mind as quickly as possible. But, not quickly enough. She hears the hum, feels the force as all sound is sucked from her room. She closes her eyes, preparing for the fight that Ben was going to bring with him. After a few moments, she hears slow, deep breaths. She opens her eyes and sits up, facing her bed. Ben is laying on her bed. His hands are rested on the bottom of his ribcage, his eyes scanning the ceiling. After a moment he sits up and looks at Rey, his hair swaying on either side of his head. He is clad in black, as always. This time, however, his clothing is much lighter. He is in a simple black shirt and pair of black sweatpants.

“Rey” he whispers, scanning her face. After a moment she stands and begins to pace, trying to avoid eye contact. After a minute of her pacing, Ben slides his legs off of the bed, standing and taking a step toward her.

“Stay right there” Rey says, her arm extended behind her to signal Ben to not get any closer. She is facing the door of her room. After a moment she leans forward, resting her head against the frozen metal of the door.

“Ben, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you there. I… I wanted to save you. But now, I’ve realized that if I had stayed, I would have saved you, as well as all those who I love. They would have been fine without me. They are fine without me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it then. But it is too late now. The space that is separating us is what made me realize what I lost when I turned my back on you. I needed this time, but I also know that I lost the only person who understands me. I’m sorry.” Her mind jumps to the moment she turned him down, and all the events that took place after that. Anakin’s lightsaber splitting between them, her waking first. She thinks back to him lying there, she had lightly placed her hand on his cheek, believing that it would be the last time that she would ever see him. Then she had fled. She had fled to her friends. She had fled to the people that were no longer by her side.

“Rey, I forgive you” At this, she turns, astonishment written across her features. Ben is standing in the same spot as he had been when she told him to stop. For the first time, she looks up at his face, making eye contact. There is sorrow in his eyes. He has lost weight, looking as though he had been training without replacing the calories. There were bags under his eyes. She felt his pain; how hard it had been for him to not see her anymore. The effort it had taken to not reach out to her, thinking that she had completely shut him out. With all this, she also felt the slight amount of hope that he had that she would come back to him one day. He slowly raised an ungloved hand to her, showing a gesture of forgiveness and trust. She took him in for a moment before closing the distance between them. Stepping past his arm, she wrapped her arms around his middle. After a beat of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, gently pressing her to him. They stood there, holding one another, feeling the force softly flow between them. He was so warm, his heart beating faster than she would have expected. Even though he spends most of his time on a ship, he smells like the forest and water. His arms are strong around her. Though he has lost weight, he as strong- if not stronger- than he was the last time they had seen one another.

After what felt like an eternity, they parted. Rey took a step back and sat down on her makeshift bed, pulling one of her blankets around her shoulders to try to replace his warmth. Ben stepped back and sits on the bed, placing his hands on his knees. They looked at one another, unsure of what to do now. Rey feels the question that is beginning to develop on the tip of his tongue.

“I’ll be able to come to you one day Ben. Once the resistance is back on their feet and they truly don’t need me anymore, I’ll leave them.” She looked down at her hands resting in her lap. This was the first time that she had voiced her plan. It felt good to be certain about something. Everything in her life had been so uncertain for so long, it felt nice to know that this was one thing she knew would take place. She looks up, meeting Ben’s gaze.

He is scanning her face, trying to determine if this was the truth. After he felt like she was being truthful, he stood and walked to her, sitting in front of her. Their knees were touching. He slowly reached out and took her cold hands in his. His hands absolutely dwarf his, reminding her just how much smaller she was then him.

“Thank you, Rey. Thank you for coming back to me. Thank you for saving me.” She looks at him and gives him a soft smile. “are you sure the resistance will allow you to leave?”

“They don’t need me. I don’t have anyone here for me anymore. Finn found someone else, Rose. Poe and the General are too busy trying to get recruits to spare me any of their time. The only one who is truly still here for me is Chewie, but even then, he has the Porgs. They won’t miss me. Ever since Crait, I’ve felt like you are the only one who might still be there for me. But even then I wasn’t sure after leaving you.” As she says this, the look on his face as she closed the Falcon’s door flashes into her mind.

“Rey, I’ll be here for you when you are ready. I want to change how this galaxy is run. It is all black and white, but that isn’t how the real world is. After finding you, I know that I cannot just be one thing. I want to find the middle ground. I want to find the gray.” She scans his face before nodding, showing that she wants the same thing. He moves to stand, to release her hands. She squeezes his hands, pulling his attention back to her.

“Will you stay with me?” She asks, looking into his eyes. After a moment, he nods.

“As long as the force allows” he says, releasing her hands so she can lay back down. She considers moving back to the bed for a moment, but knows that if she does, she won’t sleep at all. She slides back under the blankets on the floor. She turns her back to Ben, facing the door once again. After a moment, Ben joins her. He gently presses himself to her, sliding his arms around her and pulling her against him. She feels his warmth flow into him. For the first time since getting to this base, she feels like she is wanted by someone.

“Why the floor?” Ben asks, his breath tickling her neck.

“On Jakku, I never had a real bed, I slept inside an At-At. When I was with Luke, I slept on a slab of stone. I’ve never had a real bed. Now, for the first time, I have the luxury of having one, but I don’t like it. It feels too soft. So, every night I try to sleep on the bed, and after laying there for over an hour, I give up and move to the floor. I know that it is a waste of a perfectly good bed, and really a room, but even after talking to Poe and the General about just sharing a room with someone else, they insist that I have my own room, and that I try to use the bed.”

“Hmm, that does make sense.” They lay in silence for a while, listening to one another breath. Ben feels himself begin to drift, astonished at how quickly he has begun to get tired with Rey there. This is the fastest he has begun to drift off since the night that Luke tries to take his life. All his concerns gone. All he can think about is Rey lying next to him. He takes a deep breath before bringing his face to her neck and pressing a light kiss there before laying his head down, his nose still in her hair. She smells like desert sand and flowers.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but if every single one had to happen to make sure I was right here, right now, then I forgive myself for all of them.” He says, feeling Rey press into him a little more, feeling the loneliness drain from her as she processes his words. He slowly drifts to sleep with the feeling of Rey in his arms.


End file.
